I should apologize to my desktop blog followers. I have been blogging from my iPhone and it seems that photos didn’t display properly in the desktop version. Technology and I aren’t friends. Now that I’m home, I have resized the photos.
The following is a blog I wrote while in India and was to be posted on November 16th. I ran into some technology problems and was no longer able to post while I was away but I enjoyed this rant enough to share with you now.
I’m finally starting to feel like I’m shaking the thesis pains off. For months my shoulder and sometimes my whole back had been feeling horribly stuck. My shoulder would crack and my breath would be restricted. It seems that backbends are the counter pose to my desk sitting posture. I’ve been doing a whole lot of wheel pose!
I spoke briefly of the cleansing techniques in my last blog. A little update… Shankpraxallum Sat Kriyas (cleansing) is most terrible for its reintegration of food. We’ve been fed small portions kitcheri for 3 days followed by small integration of vegetable. On day 4 we were offered a small portion of porridge. Like, 1 cup. I’m a strong supporter of intermittent fasting. I do it all the time back home. Skip a meal or skip a day of eating. Usually it’s at my body’s request, my appetite naturally reduces or disappears. This cleanse however is structured as a way to stimulate internal growth. To teach us that this suffering (the hunger that I’m feeling) is not real, that it is Maya (illusion). Well. Let me tell you. The lesson has not sunk in. I’m feeling my suffering. It is very real to me. Some know how healthy my appetite is. I can eat. I can eat so much that many have said “where do you put it?!”. That one cup of watered down oats was not sufficient that morning. I’m hangry (hungry + angry). I mean, you’ve restricted my food to small portions of high glycemic intake. You’re spiking my insulin and then I crash. I’d rather not eat at all, at least then my hunger signal would turn off and I could go on with my life. I’m so looking forward to going back to me delicious 5 chapatis a meal.
Since they’re not the boss of me, I listened to my body and went for lunch. I broke the fast. It’s not that I can’t fast. It’s that I don’t want to. I feel that way about a lot of things these days. Like the amount I miss Matt. It’s not that I can’t live without him, it’s that I don’t want to.
That’s it for today! I’m exhausted from a busy weekend of shopping and touring. This good little student has to hit the hay early (don’t worry, I don’t sleep on hay. We have actual beds).